We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
