I want to stick my p in your. b.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
