just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
