Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
