well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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