If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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