if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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