I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
