the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
