nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
