yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize