puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
