she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
