I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I need water and some morals
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
