i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
