OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
