I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
