i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Houston, we have a squirter
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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