Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
