somebody snuck up and got me drunk
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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