You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just had sex on a roof
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
