just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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