I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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