He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
