I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize