I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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