well you can't waste a boner
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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