My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
