I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
