dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize