Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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