This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
