This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
