Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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