Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
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