Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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