That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
