Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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