What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
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