mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
