Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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