I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
