Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
