so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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