Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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