If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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