If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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