i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
