He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
