He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
