I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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