You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
