Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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