you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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