is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
