I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
