Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
