Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
