i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
