Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
