I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
