As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
