that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
