If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
